Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
