She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
It's just like the Real World with babies
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Randomize
