i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
