The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
