If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize