Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
