Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
