Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
