okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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