I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize