Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
