im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
