Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I looked at my own cervix.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
