It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize