You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
