She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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