You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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