capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
