as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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