i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize