So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
