do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
