hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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