Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
