Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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