Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
