I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize