The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
