Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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