You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My penis needs a shock collar
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
