super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
