So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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