i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
