Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
