That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
