Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
