We're like a lot better than the average bears
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
