Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
