I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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