didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
