I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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