My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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