Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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