He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
