Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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