found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
no you cant smoke seaweed
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
