drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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