another moral hangover. fuck.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize