69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Come on in and take your pants off
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