Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
