I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
i think i just lost a toe
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
