Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
