Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
