you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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