I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
