for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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