Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
