I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
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