can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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