Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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