Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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