yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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