they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize